I wonder how I'll feel during recovery. I know I'll feel tired and sore physically, but how will I feel emotionally? I feel good today, healthy and well-rested, so today I like the idea of having friends and family come to visit me, staying to chat, bringing card games or treats. But really, when I don't feel good, I prefer to be left alone. I prefer not to have anyone bugging me, asking for my attention. I wonder which way I'll feel when I'm a patient in a hospital?
Today, the fantasy is that Kerry will sit with me, chatting quietly or watching me sleep. Anything I need or want, someone will bring to me. I'll have clean hair, makeup properly done, wearing pretty pjs or sweats. I'll be charming and friendly to everyone who comes, I'll entertain visitors with a hilarious account of the surgery and recovery to that point.
In reality, what I really need will probably be very different. Modesty and dignity is important to me. I'll be picky about being modestly covered at all times. I'll insist on closed curtains. I'll be showered and clean as soon as possible, but probably not full make up. I'll probably prefer that Kerry bring a book, so I can sleep while he dozes over a book. If you love me enough to want to visit, call first to see if I can be polite. I may be too grouchy for anyone to want to see me at all.
But maybe I will take a pair of really fabulous shoes. Even if I'm not walking, there's no reason why my feet can't be pretty.
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